October 3rd
I woke up with the flu, so I didn't go to school today. I lied back down and slept until midday(oops).
I woke up with the flu, so I didn't go to school today. I lied back down and slept until midday(oops).
Usually
I dream really weird things, but since it's usual, those dreams are
kinda normal to me. I almost always remember about what I dreamed, very
detailed as well. It's always something pretty stupid, or funny,
sometimes very disturbing. A mixture of faces, sounds, feelings and
memories.
I like dreaming.
It's
like... I can enjoy my most secret desires, or even fears. It may sound
odd, but I think a little amount of fear once in a while is pretty
healthy. The rush of adrenaline, your breath quickening, your heart
beating loudly... I truly enjoy those things.
Well,
going back to the dream, I had this weird sensation after waking up for
the second time today. The dream I had just had was... pretty
disturbing, if you ask me. Not an usual disturbing but a
where-the-heck-did-that-came-from disturbing. It was like this:
I was at the beach with my family. I only remember about my mom and my grandpa being there, but somehow I knew the rest of my family was there as well. I was playing in the sea, playing with the waves and consuming in them. Everything felt good and peaceful. The sun was shinning and I, somehow, felt powerful. Like nothing could hurt me right there where I was. It felt like the sea was guarding me instead of trying to pull me into its depth.
Suddenly, I heard a terrible, sharp cry. It was a woman. She was crying and hysteric. I immediately knew what had happened. A wave had dragged her baby into the water. I felt dread creeping up inside me. More than dread, I felt a terrible, thunder-strong loss.
I got so mad at first. How could the woman be so careless about her baby's safety? Was she insane? Leaving the helpless creature there, so close to the shore, without keeping and eye on him (I just knew he was a baby-boy)? But then I couldn't help pitying her. She seemed so lost. I don't even remember her face, I just know that I could see pure agony on it. I remember about tears and shrieks. Despair. I feel a knot in my chest just writing about it.
I started looking for the baby in the water. To be more exact, I was looking for the baby's lifeless body in the water, since it was impossible that he hadn't drowned by then. My soul felt sad and heavy. I kept looking, sending up prayers, so God would give me strength and the ocean would pity us and just give us the baby's body back. I got mad at the waves that had seemed so friendly and welcoming to me before. How could they? Taking away a little boy like that.
Without realizing it, it got dark, The sun had set but the beach was still crowded. Everyone was still looking for the body. I think it was really important to us to get the body back because it felt like it was the only thing that would lighten our heavy hearts and bring us some peace. It was the least we could do for the mother, that was nowhere to be seen by then, actually.
A policeman approached me with my grandpa right beside him. In silent agreement we walked into the ocean, but it wasn't getting any deeper. We kept walking into it, the policeman guiding us, until a gap in the water appeared. It was like an entrance to an underwater cellar. The policeman looked down into it. I think I found the body, he said with grief.
My grandpa and I looked down as well and saw the silhouette of his tiny body. We had to get it! We had to bring the baby back home. The policeman tried to get into the cellar, but the gap in the water was too small for him to get in. I volunteered. That wasn't and heroic act. I was scared to death. I mean, I had to go down into a dark oceanic cellar to pick up a baby's corpse. Neither of us knew what was down there.
Still, I was determined. I had to do it, for the baby boy.
I don't think it's a good idea, the policeman said, you could get hurt. I was about to tell him that I didn't care when shockingly, my grandpa said: She's a strong girl. She'll do it. With both men grabbing my legs, I entered the gap. I was hanging upside down, the cellar was cold. It took a moment for me to find the silhouette on the ground, since it was dark. Still hanging, I tried to reach it, but I was still too high above it. I yelled them to lower me and, while trying to grab me by my ankles instead of my legs, they let go of me.
I fell and hit the ground. I don't remember any pain, though. There were pools of water on the floor, but it was concrete. I got up and strangely, I felt more wet than when I was in the ocean. I approached the figure on the floor with a heavy heart. The second I touched it I knew something was off. I wasn't touching any flesh, I was touching plastic. The figure that I was now holding was a baby doll.
The lights went on. I looked around in a daze and with pure horror realized I was in a lab, a dirty, wet, abandoned lab. There were other baby dolls, all wet and dirty, looking at me. At least a dozen of them, lying on the floor and some tables. I dropped the one I had in my hands and it fell in a pool of water, splashing me.
You have to see this! I yelled to the men. Now that I think about it, they weren't even worried or sorry about letting me fall into that creepy lab. They didn't even ask me if I had hurt myself in the fall. Still, there was no answer from them. I quickly climbed the wall and when I was close to the gap they helped me out.
When I was finally out, we just walked away from the gap to the shore. I didn't complain about their indifference towards my safety, it was irrelevant to do it. I didn't feel hurt about it and I didn't got hurt from it. I just felt numb. We walked in silence and when we got there, we saw there was no one there. Everyone had left. I could only hear some distant rumble, like thunder, but different.
We stood there when finally someone appeared. It was the woman... and she was holding a baby in her arms. She thanked us for trying to help, and explained to us that it all was a false alarm. The baby hadn't been taken away by the ocean, but by his daddy! Apparently he wanted to walk around with the baby and forgot to tell the woman his plans.
October 7th
I woke up then. I know, I know. That's the end? Hey, no can do. It's not like I can control my dreams because believe me, if I could, I wouldn't be dreaming about creepy dolls that stared at me in an abandoned underwater lab. It was freaking scary.
I don't think I want to dream about it again.
Later,
Ana Vi
P.S. Ironically, I can't remember about what I dreamed last night x)
I was at the beach with my family. I only remember about my mom and my grandpa being there, but somehow I knew the rest of my family was there as well. I was playing in the sea, playing with the waves and consuming in them. Everything felt good and peaceful. The sun was shinning and I, somehow, felt powerful. Like nothing could hurt me right there where I was. It felt like the sea was guarding me instead of trying to pull me into its depth.
Suddenly, I heard a terrible, sharp cry. It was a woman. She was crying and hysteric. I immediately knew what had happened. A wave had dragged her baby into the water. I felt dread creeping up inside me. More than dread, I felt a terrible, thunder-strong loss.
I got so mad at first. How could the woman be so careless about her baby's safety? Was she insane? Leaving the helpless creature there, so close to the shore, without keeping and eye on him (I just knew he was a baby-boy)? But then I couldn't help pitying her. She seemed so lost. I don't even remember her face, I just know that I could see pure agony on it. I remember about tears and shrieks. Despair. I feel a knot in my chest just writing about it.
I started looking for the baby in the water. To be more exact, I was looking for the baby's lifeless body in the water, since it was impossible that he hadn't drowned by then. My soul felt sad and heavy. I kept looking, sending up prayers, so God would give me strength and the ocean would pity us and just give us the baby's body back. I got mad at the waves that had seemed so friendly and welcoming to me before. How could they? Taking away a little boy like that.
Without realizing it, it got dark, The sun had set but the beach was still crowded. Everyone was still looking for the body. I think it was really important to us to get the body back because it felt like it was the only thing that would lighten our heavy hearts and bring us some peace. It was the least we could do for the mother, that was nowhere to be seen by then, actually.
A policeman approached me with my grandpa right beside him. In silent agreement we walked into the ocean, but it wasn't getting any deeper. We kept walking into it, the policeman guiding us, until a gap in the water appeared. It was like an entrance to an underwater cellar. The policeman looked down into it. I think I found the body, he said with grief.
My grandpa and I looked down as well and saw the silhouette of his tiny body. We had to get it! We had to bring the baby back home. The policeman tried to get into the cellar, but the gap in the water was too small for him to get in. I volunteered. That wasn't and heroic act. I was scared to death. I mean, I had to go down into a dark oceanic cellar to pick up a baby's corpse. Neither of us knew what was down there.
Still, I was determined. I had to do it, for the baby boy.
I don't think it's a good idea, the policeman said, you could get hurt. I was about to tell him that I didn't care when shockingly, my grandpa said: She's a strong girl. She'll do it. With both men grabbing my legs, I entered the gap. I was hanging upside down, the cellar was cold. It took a moment for me to find the silhouette on the ground, since it was dark. Still hanging, I tried to reach it, but I was still too high above it. I yelled them to lower me and, while trying to grab me by my ankles instead of my legs, they let go of me.
I fell and hit the ground. I don't remember any pain, though. There were pools of water on the floor, but it was concrete. I got up and strangely, I felt more wet than when I was in the ocean. I approached the figure on the floor with a heavy heart. The second I touched it I knew something was off. I wasn't touching any flesh, I was touching plastic. The figure that I was now holding was a baby doll.
The lights went on. I looked around in a daze and with pure horror realized I was in a lab, a dirty, wet, abandoned lab. There were other baby dolls, all wet and dirty, looking at me. At least a dozen of them, lying on the floor and some tables. I dropped the one I had in my hands and it fell in a pool of water, splashing me.
You have to see this! I yelled to the men. Now that I think about it, they weren't even worried or sorry about letting me fall into that creepy lab. They didn't even ask me if I had hurt myself in the fall. Still, there was no answer from them. I quickly climbed the wall and when I was close to the gap they helped me out.
When I was finally out, we just walked away from the gap to the shore. I didn't complain about their indifference towards my safety, it was irrelevant to do it. I didn't feel hurt about it and I didn't got hurt from it. I just felt numb. We walked in silence and when we got there, we saw there was no one there. Everyone had left. I could only hear some distant rumble, like thunder, but different.
We stood there when finally someone appeared. It was the woman... and she was holding a baby in her arms. She thanked us for trying to help, and explained to us that it all was a false alarm. The baby hadn't been taken away by the ocean, but by his daddy! Apparently he wanted to walk around with the baby and forgot to tell the woman his plans.
October 7th
I woke up then. I know, I know. That's the end? Hey, no can do. It's not like I can control my dreams because believe me, if I could, I wouldn't be dreaming about creepy dolls that stared at me in an abandoned underwater lab. It was freaking scary.
I don't think I want to dream about it again.
Later,
Ana Vi
P.S. Ironically, I can't remember about what I dreamed last night x)
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